And now here I am… 49 And Counting!
After my recent… what shall we call it (an awakening?), there’s been a chain of small but significant events unfolding behind the scenes and plenty of time for some mindful meandering.
I decided to label my recent view over the landscape warblings an awakening as opposed to an epiphany as it wasn’t a dramatic, short, sharp burst of something hugely significant. It was much more of a gentle, slow-burn realisation.
Anyway, whatever we’re calling it, since I’ve started to get a grasp on what I’m feeling and more importantly, why I’m feeling it, recent occurrences seem to have taken on a bit of a serendipitous quality.
I’m a sucker for a bit of serendipity… and not just the movie version with John Cusack set in New York either. I like the real stuff too.
I won’t attempt to enlighten you as to exactly what I’m
rambling on about referring to here as, whilst it all seems significant in my mind, you might just think I’ve been at the Veuve Clicquot for breakfast. Again.
I haven’t… yet…
But suffice to say, as I turn 49 today, I find myself in a new, quietly calm and yet exciting place. As in a breath of fresh air and clear skies exciting.
And the fact that it’s happening as I come full circle from the very beginning of 39 And Counting, to being 49 and counting right now, makes it feel like perfect timing. And completely serendipitous.
I’m pretty sure that the very act of living out the last year of your current age decade induces all kinds of navel gazing and self-questioning in many of us. And possibly the over-use of the word serendipity in all it’s guises too…
As I (quite ineptly) tried to express here ten years ago, I seem to be drawn to the year before The Big Year to get all my ducks in a row and work out who I am, who I’m becoming and who I might like to be.
Why wait until the actual year – do it before! Get organized, get ready and then stand there, ready to embrace it with arms open wide. That’s clearly my strategy anyway.
That and to buy a dress containing a gazillion ruffles and to drink a lot of champagne. I think there should be more excuses in life for both of these events actually.
When I started blogging at 39 And Counting, I knew I was on the cusp of something but I didn’t have the first clue what on earth it was. The crossroads showed itself, we got acquainted and ever so slowly, I began treading the path that lead me to set up my own blog business.
Both in terms of the blog and in life in general, the last ten years have taught me so much. About who I am, what I want, what I’m willing to do and what I’m really not prepared to put up with.
It’s taught me to face my fears when I need to and to not bother putting myself through stressful situations when there’s no benefit to be gained other than just because.
It’s taught me a lot about human nature, perception, judgement, the foolhardy practice of forever looking to the next step and the even more foolhardy practice of chasing some unachievable, distant level of perfection.
But more on all those things later.
There’s only two things on my list for the next ten years and beyond… apart from the obvious contenders of being happy, elevating the everyday and drinking more Veuve Clicquot that is…
I want to keep evolving.
And I finally want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
What about you?
Photography by: SarahLou Francis